My Why...

Nothing is more intimidating than opening up and posting about my personal life on the internet but I feel like I can really help so many people who struggle or have struggled with similar situations. It's so important to share about knowledge or experiences we've encountered, You can truly change someone’s entire outlook or decision just by sharing your story. Life has been pretty wild for me and boy do I have a lot of experiences to share. Here's a little more why my soul gets so ignited by photography and beauty... I grew up having a pretty rough childhood. The more I get into my blogs I'll get a little deeper about toxic environments, family and growing what you go through. My teenage years were some of the most challenging years that really shaped my entire being and outlook on life. Its probably good to disclose that I deeply believe everything happens for a reason and with that being said I don't have any hate in my heart towards the people that caused so much pain or damage when I was younger. Someone in my family used to constantly tease me about how I looked "fat," and made comments about everything that I ate or considered eating. Hearing this always made me feel so insecure to the point where I would research for hours the best way to loose a lot weight fast; this ended up getting to the point where I would start becoming obsessed with what I weighed and trying to starve myself to lose the weight. While I was struggling with this in my family/personal life I was also going to high school, which everyone knows how hard high school and bullying can be. With these two things combined I really struggled.

For almost six months during senior year was the most I ever struggled with my self image, eating disorders and it quickly brought me to the lowest weight I've ever been. One of the girls I met in foster care told me all about how she lost so much weight in a matter of months from starving herself all day long until dinner time. When it was dinner, no pasta or any unhealthy food, if it wasn't a healthy dinner eat a handful of peanuts to "hold you over". I tried her trick and followed this for months straight. I got down to about 115lbs and a normal healthy weight for me is about 130-140lbs. Nothing was worse than the pain I would get from loosing all this weight so quickly and clearly the most unhealthy way possible. My migraines became extremely consistent and unbearable, the stomach pains I would get were severe & crippling at times and let's not even mention how cold I was no matter how many layers I wore. I constantly thought maybe my trauma & personal life was so difficult because of how I looked, "Maybe I had less opportunities because I wasn't as pretty as the other girls at school". These thoughts consumed my mind on a daily basis probably until after high school in my early 20s. I know a lot of other people who have had similar experiences, thoughts about themselves and sadly even worse than what I've experienced. When I finally started finding makeup, photography & my life purpose I was living in New Mexico. My beautiful friend Karlie convinced me model and do a boudoir photoshoot. I was incredibly insecure and so far from okay with this idea. Our friend Cherisa was over her house and they both did my hair, makeup and hyped me up for a fun photoshoot. I didn't have a single thing on me for clothing but no excuse was going to persuade them differently. I'm beyond glad it didn't. This was the first time I actually saw a photograph of myself and felt comfortable with how I looked. I was truly amazed with Karlies work and still to this day they're some of my favorite pictures. I realized how amazing it is to feel confident and beautiful and from then on my mission has been to make every other person feel the same way.

You never know what someones backstory is that's made them view themselves in a negative perception and I feel like a lot of people even the ones close to us struggle with the same thing and we don't even know. My purpose is to help others feel just as beautiful through my work. I love showing my clients that their insecurities are lies, their "flaws" are perfect and there is absolutely nothing wrong with them. They are just as perfect & beautiful as everyone else around them. This is also my reasoning for going into the beauty industry too. I'm able to help my clients feel like their most confident, put together version on themselves while incorporating style & emotion into my photographs for the best results. With Weddings it's even more important that my clients feel their most confident version of themselves, it's the most magical day of their life, no one wants to let insecurities get in the way of a magical day! Feeling confident also comes with feeling comfortable. Being able to be with my brides from the start with pampering them with skincare, a makeup application and hairstyle all the way to documenting their love story is extra special! I love being able to incorporate two of my passions into one specific day!

Life is so beautiful; with all the negativity that surrounds us it’s difficult to stop and appreciate the beauty in the world. I really love getting to know my couple and their separate stories that led them to their current chapter. I spend so much time getting to know my couples with multiple phone calls, emails, questionnaires and most of the time an engagement shoot before the Wedding date. This creates such a beautiful friendship between me and the couple and it makes capturing authentic, genuine smiles that much easier. Doing this is really special to me because not only do I form another friendship in my life but I’m able to learn so many different lessons from each individual life story. I haven’t even talked about all of my couples family & friends I’ve had the opportunity to connect with. I’ve had so many people open up to me on such a personal level about so many different eye opening topics. I genuinely couldn’t tell you how many incredible things I’ve learned from some really beautiful people I’ve met following my heart.

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Next I’ll be sharing Effortless styling tips for your photo session!